It is necessary to start with the psychology of your attitude towards your appearance!
I remember constantly having to explain why I dressed well every day. I mean, to some it was overdressing…to me it was dressing well.
Now let me explain the differences between these two terms:
(1) Dressing well – every day you wake up and you feel special, beautiful, and blessed. You want to communicate this to the world, so you not only decide to be pleasant, but to dress your outside the way you feel on your inside.
(2) Overdressing – some may say this is relative! It really is not! Overdressing is when you are not dressed for the occasion, for example, wearing a cocktail dress or bowtie suit to a cookout!
Now that we are clear on the difference, I am sure we all have been guilty of telling someone who dresses appropriately, but just always looks way better than everyone else, that he/she ALWAYS overdresses‼
What we really wanted to say is one/all of the following:
1. I hate going out with you, you always show me up?
2. I wish I had your fashion sense!
3. You are so pretty and well dressed!
4. When I go out with you no guys/girls look at me!
5. I could look better than you if I cared, but I am not materialistic, I do not care that much, I just prefer be COMFORTABLE‼
COMFORTABLE?
Ok let us just call it the way the mirror sees it! It is not COMFORTABLE! It is called LOOKING A HOT MESS‼ Before you try to talk me down, let me tell you why!
**First of all, you must get it out of your head that fashionable people dress uncomfortably. Let me just clarify…being uncomfortably dressed is not a pre-requisite for looking fashionable or well dressed‼
**Second, the fact that you have to defend your style against someone who you clearly think looks great, means that YOU THINK YOU LOOK A HOT MESS‼
On a serious note, there are a few reasons you have become numb or succumbed to the unflattering and unappealing way that you are dressing:
(1) You hate your body and you just prefer cover it up with over sized clothing
(2) You may think you have a good body, but you think if you wear clothes that fit, they will draw attention to your body … and you hate attention!
(3) You think everyone who dresses fashionably well are insecure, egotistical, materialistic, and superficial (even though that is a lot to be!)
(4) You grew up in a family where dressing well was not a priority and though you want to dress better, you are complacent….it has become part of your nature!
(5) You are lazy!
(6) Oh‼ This is a GREAT ONE‼
I want people to like me for what is on the inside…not on the outside!
(7) I hate shopping, so I only wear hand me downs!
I can go on and on, but I must stop in the interest of brevity! (Feel free to add other reasons you have heard for the benefit of the group.)
So, what I want you to know is that the aforementioned all have one salient reason or motivating factor………INSECURITY‼ The only reason we will ever dress ourselves below standard is because we have insecurities about our bodies and ourselves. We either hate our bodies or we do not think we are worthy of the time, care, and attention it takes to look our best! Whichever it is, we need to identify it and address it!
The reason I am passionate about what I do is because society is not kind to individuals who send the message “I do not care about my appearance!" Really, what is the difference between the dress of the homeless and the person who does not care about his/her image?
Answer: Access to resources!
How does society respond to the homeless?
Do you think we would have helped a homeless person who was dressed in a suit with a good story?
Answer: Of course we would….just based on his/her dress and appearance!
The saying goes …”pretty people get further!” I want to update that to…”Individuals who are well dressed and present themselves in a confident manner, get the breaks!”
Yes, there was the time you got a job looking a hot mess! However, think about how many more opportunities your competitor gets who has all your qualifications and is ALWAYS well presented!
Don’t hate….appreciate!
You now have access to resources!
Stop wasting your Pretty‼
Any questions?
Raedene~
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